Parents must have all answers

Article moved to Guru Raj blog

In the long run, for the children to trust their parents, the parents must first win the confidence of the children. One of the important steps in that is to have all the answers for their children's questions. There will be tough questions, embarrassing questions, questions in areas that we are not exposed to, new progresses in science, economics, geography, civics, etc.

Irrespective of our knowledge in the area, we should have an answer that will continue to keep the bond with children. If we are not familiar with the area, we can always look it up in the world wide web and respond to the children. If it is embarrassing questions we should have the clear thinking on whether it is time for the child to learn the truth behind certain areas - is he/she of appropriate age to start learning these things.

A sure way of losing children's confidence is dismissing their questions with any kinds of answers like "Don't ask me all this, ask your teacher", "I don't know these things", "Ask Maths to your mother" or "Ask Science to your father", etc. Since the parents are the main support for the children long into the future, it is important that they be seen as role models.

For that, build confidence by giving as many answers as possible and keep the candle of creativity in the child burning bright. And for the rest "Please wait, while I look it up in the internet, so that I can also learn" would be a good way of reinforcing the feeling that they can come to the parents for any items / issues.

VRVD

Education at home - with an anecdote

Article moved to Guru Raj blog

What is the role of education at home?

Now-a-days, many people think that education is done only in schools and colleges. Parents would love to just dispatch the children for this grand purpose of education at schools. Can the teachers / professors really complete the education of children? I think not.

Education starts at home, even before the child reaches age of attending school (which varies from 2.5 to 6 years, depending on the country in which the child is growing up). Children are mostly learning every minute that they are awake. Hence, education starts at home and continues with relatives (second most influence), friends, schools & colleges.

Recently during a discussion a parent was complaining that the school was not teaching maths properly because the boy could not do the specific portions as part of home-work. When asked whether the parent could not have taught him themselves, the retort was "Then the school will take credit for what I teach the child." Whoa! It is your child that needs to learn - if the specific method of teaching this particular aspect of Maths has not been grasped by child, don't you think the parent needs to add to it? For the sake of own child? God save the child! Or maybe the child will automatically at some point, by not depending on parents for learning!

Such episodes open our eyes as to how parents are viewing schools and education of their own children. In Tamil we could say "இப்படியும் சிலர்" (such people too exist).

VRVD

But the Neo Temples...

With the views of temples in the previous post, a natural question that arises is what do I think of the new age temples. What are these new age temples?

Well, for one, temples where the garba griha is more like a stage of a play / music performance - flood lit or enough light that the idol is easily visible from 100s of metres from the temple.

Another is that fully air-conditioned sanctum sanctorum are seen more often - no longer conforming to "garba" conditions (warmth of the womb). I wonder - shouldn't a little sweat not be good for us?

Deepa Aradhanai now performed from well outside the inner sanctum-sanctorum - now that the idol is well lit, the deepa aradhanai has become like a useless ritual. The priests also do it with as much involvement as reading newspaper while drinking coffee.

So, now there is no search for God within or outside. He is presented on a platter for a fee. And you will be as cool as a cucumber while going through all this.

Finally, the attention given to the devotee is dependent on the money that is placed on the deepa plate. One may call it "human nature" of the priest, but I would rather the priest show equal respect to everyone. And I hope the priests and administrators put the money to good use in the temple upkeep and the necessary requirements to retain the energy centre that the temples are for us all.

Temple helps search for...

There are many reasons for temples, and the rituals followed there. Some are documented well, while others are interpreted for us by many learned people. Here are some views, borrowed / synthesized, copied / plagiarized - just something to churn in our mind.

The idol is in the dark Garba griha and maintained in similar temperature to the womb. It symbolizes the God/Goddess within us. It has got the few lamps lit and that adds to the warm temperature. The idol symbolizing the God / Goddess is also dark - cannot be easily viewed. This teaches us that God cannot be seen easily. He has to be searched with dedication and alertness in seeking within us.

Secondly even with the lamps he is not easily visible. The priest performs different abhishekams and tries to show the God in different forms using the Deepam Araadhanai after each. This teaches us that we see the God in the form that we decorate him/her. We see the truth in the way we decorate the truth. Like viewing with tinted glasses, we see every information with our own prejudice and decorations. Hence we need to understand that to really see the truth or God within we have to remove our own prejudices and decorations.

Thirdly the bell that is rung either at entrance of some temples (devotees can ring it) or during Deepam Araadhanai, is to wake up the God within us. It is not to call out to God & ask for money, status, promotions, etc.

Fourthly we tap our cheeks also to improve our alertness and wake up to the truth that is tried to be displayed within the Garba Griha by the priest using the deepam aradhanai.

Hence, every action is to help us seek and wake up the God within us. It helps us understand what is truth, how we look at truth and how we should look for truth in everything around us. It is not a place for negotiating deals with the God as some seem to do at temples.

Uncles of Boy born in Rohini star will get ill effect is it?

Article moved to Guru Raj blog

One of the superstitions with respect to boy born in Rohini star is that the mother's brothers would have ill effects. Also the mitigation of ill-effect is supposed to be, by not looking at the boy directly. They see the son in a reflection of oil.

Now, let us get to the reason for this superstition. Kanha / Krishna killed his own uncle Kamsa for his bad deeds.

Can't we look at the moral of this story, rather than come to superstitious conclusions? In our culture the maternal uncles are placed in high pedestal and given lot of importance. The relationship is special. The moral to be learnt here is that any person should be willing to punish a person doing ill deeds against self or family, even if the person happens to be own maternal uncle. That is the moral that people should learn from the story of Krishna & Kamsa. Hope the superstition dies out some day... and sons born in Rohini star are boldly looked at by their maternal uncles...

And anyone born in any star be bold enough to punish even revered persons if the mistake is grave and against the self or family.

VRVD

Out of reach - increases curiosity... kills the cat?

Article moved to Guru Raj blog

A small experiment we have done with our child has worked out well. We never took anything from their normal places & placed them higher, as the child grew. The child could reach all the items and curiosity is usually immediately satisfied. A careful eye on the child to ensure that things are not broken, etc., was always there & a firm loving disapproval in case of wrong actions (like hitting things with the item in hand) was enough for the child to learn what not to do.

Our computer, printer & wires were all strewn at ground level. After the first venture received a firm "No", the child did not go near that area at all. A glass top tea-table was our choice knowing we had a 1 and 1/2 year old - nothing hit on it or broken at all. Luckily this kind of treatment left a level of "satisfaction" for the child's curiosity. There is less urge to get somethings at all costs - as the child is assured that if required it will be provided. Needs will be provided - wants may or may not be provided.

Overall it has left our home like, just our home, instead of some homes where we see things go higher and higher as the child grows and is able to grab things...

Like I said in the beginning - it just worked out well in this case. We believe the character of the child and the models around them are also important on how such actions are taken forward as lessons, learning, experiences, prejudices, etc... But if curiosity is increased, does it change the character to increased wants, rebellious nature, etc? We don't have the answer... others should comment, I guess...

VRVD

29 of 29 - Revathi

27.                 Then why astrology for beginning any event, function or process?

Answer: A job well begun is job half done.  If the influential objects are going to be in beneficial positions, the job “takes off” like a rocket.  If the influential objects are not so, then it may have problems. 

We should also keep in mind, that there is no guarantee of “high, higher and highest” achievements.  There will be ups and downs.  By starting at good time, we are setting a positive frame of mind for all & positive environment for increased probability of success.

VRVD

(29 of 29 - Revathi)